Friday, April 1, 2011

AFK Check . . .

Been AFK for the past week or so. Internets went down after last weeks shitstorm, a tree decided to fall down on the power lines and tore apart the cable line so not only me but everyone on my street had no internet or TV for a few days. Slow cable provider is slow. . . .

Since today is April 1st I think I'll just post up some lols for now and have story time later:

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Spring is a Lie

It's been 3 days since spring began, I walk outside Monday morning as well as Wednesday Morning in hopes to see a bird chirping or some woodland creatures herp derping on the thawed out grass. Nope, none of that happened. Instead I awoke both those days to a nuclear winter. WTF happened? St. Patty's day was very warm for drink, the weekend was nice too, but come Monday, somebody had launched the nukes and set us back into winter. So when is spring gonna, um, spring? Doesn't look like for awhile since the people claimed that snow and rain will be here once more next week.

Punxsutawney Phil, you lied to us!!!!

P.S. Tray sledding = fun!
         ^^^-Tray Sledding is basically taking fast food restaurant trays and putting one each under the rear tires of your car and by engaging the E-Brake, only works with front drive cars otherwise you'll be derping your ride into a pole if you go rear or all wheel drive, you can then whip around and fishtail all you want. Works best in a flat open parking lot while wet also good on ice/snow. Don't do what Miles did and whip around on dry pavement, that's how he threw out the ass end of his Ford Ranger.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Dinkmobile Saga: The Deer

If you ever owned a shitty car that lasted for years and wouldn't die, call it the Dinkmobile.

Jimmy once owned a '97 Plymouth Neon, he got it back in high school in our senior year. He owned it for a good 5 years before he finally upgraded to his new one. We called it the Dinkmobile due to the fact that the first set of his license plate read DNK, that's how the name came to be. This car survived everything that was thrown at it, from shopping carts to cars running into the side panels this car was well alive even after he got rid of it.

We were all leaving Will's house one night, Myself, Jarrett, Mike and Jimmy all drove since we all drove at one point. Mike left first cause he wanted to rush home and sleep before he had to work at Shoprite in the morning. Though he never works, just hangs out in the janitor's closet all day only coming out to mob the floors. Jim drove first followed by myself and Jarrett. We were all driving on the main road and Jimmy being the daredevil driver he is, was driving like a bat out of hell. A car was coming in the other direction when suddenly the car swerved like the guy was drunk or somethin, Jimmy hit his brakes and all I saw was the ass end of his car jump up in front of me. Luckly I was several car lengths behind Jim so I didn't hit him. I swerved around what appeared to be a huge box of some sort and Jarrett did the same.

We all stopped to see what had happened and what did was that the other guy who was coming down the road had hit a deer. After the deer bounced off the guy's SUV, it came into our lane right in front of Jim and he had no time to react and ran it over. Now when I mean that Jim ran the deer over, he ran the fucker completely over! The other driver came up to see if we were okay and I saw his big SUV had a big chunk of his bumper missing, while Jim's car had no damage at all! If anything there was deer hair all over the front plate and under the car. The deer however did not survive the incident, so what do we responsible guys do? Throw it in back of Jarrett's Jeep and take it to the butcher for venison burgers!

So what did we learn out of all this? A '97 Plymouth Neon has more durability than a 2006 SUV. They were some good burgers by the way.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

A drink last night

You are now reading this post in my voice.

So last night we had a little adventure and so I'd figure I share it for today's post.

I was in WoW last night when Jarrett contacted me via in game. He said he was coming down tonight and it would be cool to see him again. I gave Will a shout and said he was in for doing something tonight. So Jarrett comes around 9 and we BS for a bit before we head on over to Will's house. When we got to Wills house we were greeted by his mom who had donuts set out for us to nom on. We spent a good 20min there while talking to his mom and her friends which was interesting to listen to. So we tried to get a hold of Mike who wouldn't come out to drink with us tonight, he was bitching saying that he just came home from work. So after finally getting a hold of him on the phone, he said he didn't wanna go and said for us to not mess with his car. . . .

Jarrett, Will and myself arrived at the place of drink to where we would socialize with girls since it was declared singles night, thought I'm already seeing someone I was obligated to be the wing-man. So after we walked in and said hello to the DJ's which Jarrett personally knows, an old friend came out of nowhere. I didn't recognize him at first and I thought I was getting mugged, it turned out he was an old high school friend. We began by having a pint and talking while Jarrett scoped out the chicks. There were quite a few women that didn't meet Jarrett's criteria and being the wing-man I was, I had to take a hit. As we were drinking who do we spot across the bar? Miles. He was chilling across from us, oblivious that we were there. He finally noticed us and we told him we tried to call him earlier, what luck eh? So I told him about Mike and Miles had an idea to go mess with Mike. So myself, Jarrett and Will all took off with Miles in his truck. First off Miles drives a 2010 GMC and he put a modification on it so it had an air horn, but not just any air horn it was a train horn!!! So all you hear going down the road is "whoo whoo"

Once we arrived at Mike's house, Miles had parked at the end of the driveway and me and Miles walked up to the Car. We started to wrap his car in a plastic that is industrial grade shrink wrap, this stuff was really noisy while we were wrapping it around the car. Mike had parked his car too close to this trailer and we had to jump over the hitch that we kept tripping over. We had gotten around so many times when suddenly we heard "Hey guys whatcha doing?" Mike had came out so we ran thinking he was gonna strangle us. Miles tried to run but still had the shrink wrap on the car and he was spring back into car with the roll in his hands. We hauled ass not looking back and with Jarrett and Will halfway down the driveway, we all bolted to the truck. Lucky for us Miles had kept the windows down so we had to Dukes of Hazzard jump through the windows. Miles peeled out with his train horn blaring and we headed back to the inn to where we were drinking.

We were chilling in Miles's truck when we saw Mike's car come up the road. I though he was gonna kill us but he was laughing saying that he wasn't gonna kill us or anything. I call BS to that but whatever. We had went back in to have more drinks and to chat it up. Will wasn't feeling to well, probably from all the running so he was chilling on the chair. We were standing and talking when we heard, hurp, splash. Will had puked a bit on the floor and we rushed him outside for him to get air, well he hurled again unto himself and the doorknob. We were inside on what to do now and we finished drinking then went out to see how Will was feeling. Some drink was freaking out over him, lol. Mike agreed to take Will  home which was cool of him to do so. Me Jarrett and Miles continued to bar hop. We went over the Delaware river to another bar.

The next bar had a live band playing which was really cool. We had more drinks and ran into more old friends and danced with some girls. My g/f showed up later and we had more to drink and once again decided to go mess with Mike's car with more plastic wrap. This time we took Jarrett's van since Miles was drunk. The four of us went to his car and once again started to wrap his car. I stood near Mike's window in order to hear if he comes out to kill us. I heard footsteps and I said guys Mike is coming we gotta split. We started to run, Miles got hung out again and we heard "Hey what are you guys doing?" It was Mike's father who came out. We ran like hell and since the door on Jarrett's van is broke, we had to hop in the back hatch. Then once again we hauled ass but no train horn this time.

We ended the night at a gas station to which Jarrett got van gas and we all split to go home. I woke up today feeling hung over and lemme just say, a shamrock shake does not cure a hangover, blurrrgh. It was a fun night, running like hell made me realize that I'm out of shape which sucks. So yea.

/Morgan Freeman

Saturday, March 19, 2011


Haven't had much time lately to post up some stories, but I'm not gone away from this, so for today's post, it's Caturday!!!

Tomorrow will be a story post, or tonight if I find the time

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Ouch Tree/Trip to Mike's College

Been busy for the last several days, hence the lack of posts . . . .

Mike went to college back in spring of 2006, without a car he couldn't get far or anywhere for that matter. He was over an hour away from here, somewhere near Wilkes-Barre. So one day Jarrett told me that Mike was bored and wanted to know if we wanted to come and hang out with him at his college. Jarrett and I left town on Saturday morning and arrived there in early afternoon, we got sidetracked as usual. Jarrett brought his computer so we could watch some movies and do internet, at this time Youtube was about a year old at this point so there was no censorship or copyright claims or anything of the latter. Mike met us up front so he can show us the maze to his dorm, on the way we saw a couch and several good armchairs in the woods, Mike said its a good place to hang out late at night at the campfire. We arrived to Mike's dorm which looked like a nice little apartment. Two bedrooms, bathroom, nice size kitchen and living room, I would gladly like to have a place like that. He had Three roommates, two of which we never saw but I must say, kudos to them for putting up with Mike's anger and stuff. We went out to see the area to see if anything interesting was around.

We found a house that had a big K on the front:
Mike said it was some frat house of some sort, I thought it was just some beacon for some crack house or something of the latter. "Hey guys lets head on down to the Special-K to get some good stuff, yea" So we wandered around for a bit and found a movie theater that was $4 for a movie, and only $2 for popcorn and a drink! $6 for admission and snack, I sure do love small town theaters. After the movie we drove around a bit and found the best stereotype ever, 5 cop cars at a local doughnut shop and all of them had their police lights on. If anytime I had a camera on I wish it had been then, by the time I got my camera on we had passed the place and I was driving.

Thought it may have not been an exciting adventure, we did have one interesting thing to happen to us, we found a tree that said 'Ouch' on it and had a big X below, apparently this tree is located on a sharp turn and it has caused many car accidents, dubbing the name, 'The Ouch Tree'. We stopped to get a few photos at night and well, as we were doing so, a car took the turn too fast and almost ran into the tree to which Mike and Jarrett were standing in front off:
So we decided to come back in the morning so that we don't get hit by a car. As we drove down the road we could hear a Screeeeeech, but no bang. So we went back to his dorm around midnight and looked for some parties, nothing was going on but he had a few drinks in the room so we put on a movie on Jarrett's computer and just chilled for the rest of the night.

The next morning we hit up a local diner for some noms and wandered around some more, for a city this place was boring, and it was February so it was cold to boot. Jarrett and I left around 5pm to head back to our little town. We were 18 at the time so we didn't get to go to bars or anything good and it was a semi-lame trip, but we had fun later on that year.

Not sure what to do for the next story but at least there were pics this time.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Fly Legacy Part 3/3

Hard to believe almost 6 years have passed since we all graduated high school . . . .

It was early August of the summer of 2005. A nice hot day out and with not a cloud in the sky we were all inside playing video games at Wills house. As usual Mike was choking Will for being his ass at Raw 2005, or whichever wrestling game we were playing. Jarrett brought up the idea to get supplies for out upcoming trip to Maine. A few weeks earlier we decided to take a trip up to Maine since Jarrett owns about 40 acres about 20 or so miles form the Canadian border. We all agreed and set off to Wal-Mart but first we were to pick up Jimmy, since he works there and we use his discount all the time. We had our two cars and instead of cramming into Mike's car which had a lot of crap. So we decided to see who can arrive at Jim's house first and the loser would have to put up with his nonsense about ubuntu and best buy.

We left Wills house and soon we were hot on each others tails. I suddenly pulled a sharp turn and took a detour thinking I could get there faster. Mike and Jarrett took off in one direction while myself and Will went another. We arrived at Jim's house and we were waiting for Mike and Jarrett to show up. Jim didn't answer the door so we tried to get a hold of Mike with the walkie talkies that he bought for the trip. We wanted to see how far the range was since they were rated for 5 miles, all we got was static. Thinking they got Jim and took off for Wal-Mart, Will and I set out to find them. We went to Wal-Mart, K-Mart plaza area and even over the border to Shoprite. They could not be found in sight nor heard on the walkie talkie. All we got on the walkie talkie was interference and jibber jabber from the K-Mart ones. So me and Will just shouted random crap back to them. We both agreed to just head back to Wills house and go from there. After getting out of town we finally got them on the walkie talkie, something you don't wanna hear. They got into a car accident.

We learned that they weren't too far from Jim's house and we showed up a bit late to the scene but lucky for us, they were okay. There was a cop there to direct traffic, along with Jarrett's mom and grandmother, and the homeowner.

Me: "How'd you pull this off?"
Jarrett: "Mike you tell him."
Mike: "Well remember Jarrett got the Dukes of Hazzard CD."
Me: "yea"
this being the Dukes of Hazzard movie came out a week or two before and we saw it.
Mike: "Well we were riding along and taking turns like a dare devil."
Me: "Mike you drive a Subaru not a Charger."
Mike: "Shut up, so anyway as we were coming down this road, I looked at Jarrett and said, I don't think we're gonna make this turn Luke."
Jarrett: "Then we hit the wall and tree, I saw my glasses fly off my face and land perfectly on the floor between my feet, but man does that airbag hurt."

What had happened was Mike took a turn too fast and ended up on a rock wall, which he ran into a tree. The front end was pretty smashed and the owner was bitching. I'm glad my friends were okay but this lady wouldn't stop. She complained that it would take $5000 to repair a rock wall and tree. I went up to the lady and told her "Listen lady, my two best friends just had an accident and I could of lost them, so lay off and shut up. It is not gonna take 5 grand to fix a rock wall that just needs to be re-stacked, and that tree just needs some fixing from home depot, so just shut up, go back to your house and let my friends recover." The lady just stood there silent as the flatbed truck pulled the car off the wall. I had pictures but still can't find them. Since Mike was under 18 I had to drive him to the hospital since our local medical clinic wouldn't take him cause of his age. I took Will home since he was going away for a few days.

After Mike was released from the hospital and Jarrett walking out of the clinic, we both went to Mike's house were we finished off the night on a few rafts and a cold beer in Mike's pool. Who said you can't mix Vicadin and alcohol. The next morning we went to survey the damage at the local gas station where it was taken too. Front end smashed in and fluids leaking, it was declared totaled. Mike would not get a car until the next summer.

If I ever find the pics of this accident I'll post them. . . . Next adventure will be the Ouch Tree. I was gonna do the Maine Trip but that's gonna be a multi-part blog, and I still have pictures from that!