Sunday, March 6, 2011

Soup's on! . . . The biggest guy in school

A lot of my stories take place after we all graduated, some during high school. Only a few high school stories are worth mentioning and this is one of them.

We were all in 10th grade back in 2002-2003, The way out school was set up there were 3 half hour lunch based periods for everyone to chow down to. Me and my friends were very lucky to have all of us in at the same time so we took over a table just for ourselves. Now when you put a table full of friends together than have known each other for a long time things don't get very quiet or calm. Each day we would talk loud or annoy one another, especially miles who would annoy both Mike and Cole. Mike would get so pissed off and would try to strangle Miles, Cole on the other hand was more passive and that drove Miles crazy cause he could not break him. However Cole was very reserved and kept his cool a lot and was lucky enough to eat a homemade lunch rather than school cafeteria food which probably contained some sort of horse meat and week old macaroni.

It was a cold January winter day, a soup kind of day. At lunch time we once again sat at our table to conduct our daily routine of noms and chats. I think it was a Friday since I had gotten 2 pizza's for the price of one, since the lunch lady's liked me. Be nice to the lunch lady's and they will give you more food for free. I walked to our table with Will, passing by the teachers who pretended to be prison guardsmen of the cafeteria. We arrived back to the table where as usual Miles was pissing Mike off and bothering Jimmy. I always sat next to Will since we talked comic stuff a lot and it was a bit quieter on this side. A commotion started where Miles was grabbing Cole's food and taking Jimmy's as well. Eventually Cole went to eat the soup his mom made him, it was a homemade tomato soup with a little bit of extra herbs and spices, I could smell it from the other end of the table it was so good. But Miles being the kid he was back in high school decided to annoy Cole and began to lunge at his soup container. The two of them were wrestling  for the soup container, but Cole had has fat kid hunger grip and wasn't gonna let him take it. Now I don't know who let go but all I heard was splash, bang and gasps.

The table next to us across the aisle had the group of kids that would seem to fit well in a inner city high school setting. Grant it we lived in PA in a place where you have to drive 30min to get to a mall. These kids consisted of kids who wanted to be rappers and had one or two girls who dressed like hookers on an La street corner. At the table sat the biggest black kid in all of high school all 4 grades combined. I mean this kid could of played NFL already and pass off at least 20 years of age, and all I saw was him covered in red soup. His thigh high Fubu jeans, his popeye with an attitude shirt, even his bright white Nike's all covered in red soup. I looked at Will and just bolted cause I had a feeling this kid was gonna come over and beat our asses. I ran a few tables up to where two of my friends sat. I saw Wayne, the black kid, stand up like a golem hanging over the table. All the teachers rushed over like it was some sort of prison riot was about to happen. Wayne handed Cole back his soup container and said not to worry about it. Then he turned to miles who was a shade of white that i have never seen before. He pointed at miles and said to him, "If you ever bother this kid(Cole) again, and cause his food his momma made for him to spill all over my clothes, I'm gonna put my foot so far up your ass, that you're gonna be my foot BITCH! for the rest of the school year". Miles looked at him like a frightened hamster and said okay. At this point the teachers were trying to calm him down thinking he was gonna break Miles in half.

I looked on from another table and just laughed my ass off. Miles never bothered Cole again, well for the rest of the school year anyway. Turns out Wayne is not as much of a mean kid as he appears to be. He was pretty chill and never picked a fight with anyone, he was a little crazy, he shouted "Oh Daddy" at times in class. We never knew why he did this.

That's one of the few stories from my high school years, next story will be The Flying Legacy


  1. oh man highschool was fun for me.

    i had a crew of troublemakers and since we were all socially retarded we put our time into scheming plots that involved "demonstrations" regarding our fascist principal.

  2. I wasted my time at high school being an asshole, which i regret to an extent!

  3. High school was the best time of my life. I miss it so much!

  4. I was hoping that huge black guy was gonna start a fight with like everyone at your table :(
    Oh well, it was still a good read :P